Male enhancement commercials crack me up. One brand, which shall remain nameless, has a commercial featuring a “reporter” “interviewing” seemingly random men on the street. All of these men act like they’re ashamed to “admit” that they are “bigger.” Hilarious!

What man would be ashamed to admit that they’re bigger? If these men were real, satisfied customers, they wouldn’t be shamed. They’d shout their glee from a very high place where many people could hear it.

In reality, these men are ashamed of being in such a ridiculous commercial, knowing that the whole thing is nonsense.

The language of the commercials kills me, too. Why are they tiptoeing around the fact that they’re talking about penises? Why not just say “penis” instead of “that certain part of a man’s body” or whatever. It’s crazy. “Penis” is not a bad word. It’s not a dirty word. It’s the anatomically correct name for a part of a man’s reproductive system.

I mean, if they made a commercial talking about “cocks” or “dicks” I would be mad at them for using slang in conjunction with a “medical” procedure (not to mention airing it on basic cable unbleeped). But “penis” is the right, technical noun. Why shy away from it? I don’t get it. If this pill is a real medical procedure (and if it’s one that works), then talking about it in technical terms wouldn’t be wrong.

Also, the women in the commercials make me laugh. Not to be mean about it, but the men in the commercials aren’t extremely attractive. And yet, in the commercials, they’re paired with women who would probably be considered sexy by some. Oh, they’re not pretty or anything like that, but I can see how a great many men would think them hot. Certainly, they look “Available.” And by “Available” I mean “trashy and easy.” Which may be why I think a great many men would think that they’re hot.

The men are clearly not hot. It’s funny. And it’s clearly a signal to potential customers: use our product to get a big dick and an easy, semi-hot girl regardless of what you look like or how bad your breath smells!

And yeah, a couple of those guys look like they have really bad breath.