Dating Math

According to game theory, I am a weak bidder. Which sucks mostly. But according to this article at Slate, being a weak bidder may actually be beneficial. To that, I say “Pshaw!” Because I know math. And this is what I know about mixing dating and math.

 

Female_{Aptitude in Math and Science}+ Prudie_{Smart Ass} +

Biological Clock_{RINGING BITCH!!!!!} + House_{Big Ass} +

College Education_{Civil Engineering} + Career² +

2(2 Hour Commute_{One Way}) – (Men_{Single, In Suburbs})! = X

 

Where:

College Education_{Civil Engineering} = Study Groups⁴ +

Prudie_{Ruined Curve for Remainder of Class, Often} +

Teenage Boys_{Masquerading as Men}

and

X = 2 = Number of Dates Prudie Went on While Working as an Engineer for Six Years

 

I can only conclude that dating and math and I do not mix.

Don’t Panic!

Recession is a natural part of the economy. Just think of it as an enema. Or a laxative. It’s natural. Oh, you’re going to have cramps for a while. And your mornings for the next few days are going to be busy. But you’ll feel all clean and rosy afterwards… as soon as you down a few gallons of water.

No? Then think of it in terms of the Circle of Life. Yeah, the song from The Lion King. There. Doesn’t the syrupy sweetness of faux philosophy and upright moral fortitude of Elton John make you feel better? Don’t you feel all warm and snuggly suddenly? It’s the circle of liiiiiiiiiife and it moves us all.

OK. </sarcasm> I feel better now. Sometimes, it’s better to let the snark flow move out (oh, dammit, enough pooping puns) be. It’s better to let the snark be. Sigh.

For people looking for jobs, it sucks. Oh, it’s not that no one is hiring. It’s just that no one is hiring in the field for which I’ve been trained (which is civil engineering generally and water resources/stormwater management specifically). And other fields in which I might be employed until my field gets its collective ass together in Georgia? Well, I’m overqualified. Even f’n Wal-Mart won’t have me.

You know, I’ve wanted to get out of engineering for a long time. Looks like this is the time to do it.