My Brain Is Mush

Today’s forecast: scattered thoughts all day.

Wednesday doesn’t look to be any clearer, but you never know.  I’m hoping for coherence and clarity on Thursday. In the meanwhile, I have a million random links that I would normally attempt to tie together. But not today, for my brain, it is guacamole… the kind that is mushy and brownish.

So here’s the random linkage.

[Ed. Note: See that? I couldn’t even come up with a suitable segue to introduce the random links. Gawd. I feel like I’m thinking through swamp mud.]

Britain could get blackouts, the first they’ve had since the 1970s. Sucks.  They have cold winters. I’m a true Southerner and thus have a very real fear of being without power during cold weather. Go ahead and laugh, Yankees; let’s see you stand up to a real Georgia summer.

I’m not talking about a summer like the ones we’ve experienced recently. I’m talking about the kind of summer that’s so humid you feel like you’re trying to breathe mashed potatoes. It’s the kind of summer that’s so hot you feel your eyeballs boil. It’s the kind of summer when you pray for nightfall. We used to have those. I don’t know what happened to them. Another victim of global warming climate change, perhaps?

A US federal police force? Well, that idea gives me the creeps. And shyeah, he makes a good point somewhere in there: historically speaking, whenever socialism is imposed, it is sustained by force.

I understand misperception (NSFW) well. Try explaining your corset collection and your romance/romantica/erotica reading habit to your Mormon would-be  boyfriend when he tracks your web surfing through cookies from his blog. (I’m talking about me here, so I’ll go ahead and drop the second person “it ain’t me” BS. ‘Cause it is.) Apparently, that all made me a dominatrix in his view, or whatever he imagined a dominatrix to be.

But I learned something from that: once a Mormon man thinks you’re dominant (and a deviant one at that), forget about any eternal happily ever after with him and the billion babies because there’s no explaining anything, even if the truth is pretty much opposite of what he thinks… well, I’ll stop there. I’m sure that had my thinker thunk straight back there I’d be able to edit the TMI out. But it didn’t and it doesn’t. So, next!

Food porn: 100 ways to use a strip of bacon. [Ed. Note: Fixed the link.] I’ve got to add bacon to my grocery list.

I read recently that we are almost at 17% unemployment when you consider all the people (like me) who don’t qualify for unemployment benefits. So when you consider that we’re now headed for negative job growth… just damn. Looks like I’ll be heading back to college Fall 2010 after all (assuming I can get a scholarship or student loan… d’oh).

No astroturfing here, folks. Move along. You know, I’ve decided that the first indicationthat a protest is the result of astroturfing is the pre-printed matching signs.

Addiction

I’ve been up all night on Ancestry.com. If you haven’t worked on genealogy in a while, and I haven’t since 1996, that place is addictive. It’s fairly awesome, though I’m not sure it’s worth the expense. But gawd, is that place slow.

If you’re not a genealogy geek as I am, you’re not going to understand this. I just got a line back to 395 AD. Yeah, the year. I’ve been doing a happy dance since about 2 AM.

The way-back ancestor’s name was Clodio; he was the first Merovingian king. And if you’re up on your Da Vinci Code, you know that means that I’m a descendant of Jesus and Mary. The Jesus and Mary. Walk on water Jesus and Mary. I think it’s pretty much nonsense, so I wasn’t up on the Da Vinci Code; I didn’t find out about it until I googled “merovingian”. Boy, did I giggle forever.

So… I don’t believe the nonsense about the Merovingians being descended from Jesus. At least, I think it’s useless to rewrite history now, after all the times it has previously been rewritten. So speculation about secret societies and “holy” bloodlines from 2000 years ago seems a fair waste of time.  And I’m not even Christian, so it doesn’t really mean much to me if you assume that the “research” is accurate; I certainly don’t. Though, that’s not to say I can’t have fun with it.

So worship me. Feel free. Snerk.

LATER: I think being descended from Charlemagne is much, much cooler. And shyeah, I’ve got him in my genes, too. Jesus and Charlemagne. Awesome.

Grouping

I’m a fan of men. They get beat up fairly regularly. Pretty unfairly. Mostly undeservedly. 

And white men… They don’t seem to have many supporters, even among white women. I’ve always thought that it was because they are the target of so many different groups’ ire. But now I’m convinced that they’ve been the target of a single entity with many different arms.

[Via Instapundit, which means you’ve all probably already watched the PJTV video of Bill Whittle to which I linked above.]

I Question Everything

Is it wrong that I consider the largest down-side to being a porn star the fact that the porn star income is so heavily dependant upon ass hair removal and/or maintenance?

 

Why do I dress in my best “casual” clothes for doctor visits when the doctor only ever sees me in panties and a paper “dress”?

 

Why do the TV show titles on Animal Planet sound like titles of gay porn?

 

Why do lip glosses come in such yummy scents and flavors when the lip gloss boxes warn users that the gloss itself is harmful when swallowed?

 

How difficult can it be for men to find pants that fit when they don’t have hips? And why do mens’ pants have such a complicated sizing system when, compared to women, they have an easier time with fit?

Apologies

Sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I was recently traumatized by this picture (after clicking on a mystery meat link, no less – I should’ve known better). Internet surfing has induced panic attacks ever since. On the bright side, my therapist is taking his family on vacation this month.

Seriously, first it was blogging malaise; then it was a sinus infection; then it was blogging malaise; and then it was family drama, sinus infection, malaise, and stomach flu. At the same time.

Right now, it’s just the stomach flu; so I’m feeling relatively better.  Blogging to recommence soon. (And shyeah, I know… first rule of blogging: never apologize for not blogging. D’oh!)