Can We Please Move On?

Sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I’m easily distracted by shiny things. -The Tick

I have a love/hate relationship with the TV. It can be a wonderful, informative tube of illumination. It can be entertaining and smart and clever and insightful and can bring a whole host of Good Things to the average TV viewer willing to plop down in front of it and pay attention for a scant few minutes. 

And then there’s the other 99.9% of junk that’s on TV. With that junk, I include the Michael Jackson coverage. For crying out loud, that man hasn’t been musically relevant in years. His life, of late, was mostly a sad circus act played out in front of a too-attentive media. And frankly, I just don’t care.


TRO compares Michael Jackson to Obama. I wish I’d thought of that.

I agree with Cranky-D. What about nuclear power, bitches?

Pam is bored. Me too. I just want to know if her hubby knows about all the angels kissing her knees…

Jonolan finds answers in Obama’s childhood. Hmp.  42 does not equal “government“.

History Revised, from the Self-Centered POV

Historical revisionism is alive and well in the New Socialist America.

What do you get when you have a liberal mind-set, an ambiguous moral compass, no regard for historical accuracy,  a highly-paid team of “comic” writers, a high sense of self-regard, an even higher sense of your own opinion, an infinite supply of narcissistic-colored glasses, and a thirty minute “news parody” show of your very own?  You get Jon Stewart, a man who doesn’t parody of the news nearly as much as he pushes his own personal views upon a slathering, ignorant audience.

HELLO TOPIC: Stewart thinks that Truman is a war criminal for dropping the bombs on Japan. I’ve heard this bit of nonsensical liberal revisionist history before. I’ve always felt that was worthless, but to my shame, I’ve never taken the time to do the research necessary to refute the charges.  It took Bill Whittle six minutes of googling to debunk Stewart’s ignorant assertions. Though, it did take almost seventeen minutes to explain them.

You should go watch Whittle’s PJTV video thingie. It’s a good one.

LATER: What color glasses are narcissistic-colored glasses? I suspect they’re pink. 

A LITTLE LATER: Why do conservative, logical people appear on Stewart’s show anyway? It’s nonsense and should be treated with the same respect given to silly parody shows like Reno 911!  and reality TV shows like Hogan Knows Best and Joe Millionaire. Which is to say, it should be given no respect and should not be taken seriously.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Apparently not.

At least, Alec Baldwin is upset at all the acrimony and bitterness:

“If John McBush and Bible Spice win, we have to find a way to come together as a country, because we can’t let it be the way it’s been the last 8 years where there’s been this acrimony and this bitterness. We have to find a way somehow to do that.”

Had he actually, you know, used McCain’s and Palin’s names instead of the ridiculous nicknames he thought up, I might be more inclined to think he was serious about wanting more peace ‘n luv in in the US.

And really, as so many people have pointed out, comparing Bush to McCain is laughable and really only serves to stir up that certain segment of the population infected with Bush Derangement Syndrome.

The WalMart Makeover

Catherine Zeta-Jones uses Wet ‘n Wild makeup*. Is she saving up money for a divorce or something? I mean, you can get enough orange Wet ‘n Wild junk at Walmart to slap on a ton of makeup for about $4.99.

My makeup looked better at my senior prom. And that was in 1993… using Wet ‘n Wild makeup…slathered on by a teenaged hand… at the end of my Goth phase.

And suddenly, as a bonus, I feel so much better about my skin. That girl’s got some serious pores.

*[Well, maybe not. It just looks like that cheap Wet ‘n Wild crap.]

Earth’s Last Eden?

Hello. I’m Prudie. And I’m a Survivor junkie.

And I’m unashamed.

Mostly, I think the show is full of shit. But it’s entertaining shit so I keep watching it season after season. I probably should have stopped after the third or so season, but it’s also addictive shit. So there’s no stopping until some sort of intervention happens… or until CBS cancels the show, whichever comes first.

This season, Survivor’s theme is “Earth’s Last Eden” and it’s being shot in Gabon, Africa. The premise is that Gabon, Africa is the last protected, untouched, unspoiled paradise on Earth. Really?

[Full Disclosure: I have nothing against Africa. It’s a continent full of greedy, drug-dealing, genocidal despots. But then, what continent isn’t?]

I have a problem with the notion of paradise being anywhere on or associated with Africa. First of all, there’s the aforementioned greedy, drug-dealing, genocidal despots. I have the general impression that they seem to have more than their fair share.

Then there’s the location itself… I dunno, I never imagined paradise having quite so many man-eating animals lurking. If Survivor footage is to be believed (and really, you can’t believe anything on Survivor to be real – still), then there are alligators/crocodiles, snakes, elephants, insects and more all waiting to gobble up the nearest homosapiens. Really, if I could design my own paradise, any animal that isn’t 100% completely in love with the idea of living in harmony with me just wouldn’t make it inside.

And I gotta admit, I never thought I’d need 50+ shots to enter paradise. Perhaps 50 is an exaggeration, but not much of one. In my own created paradise, you wouldn’t need a few series of TB or rabies vaccinations to enter.

Last, but certainly not least, I wouldn’t place paradise on a continent where squat toilets are commonplace. Ew. Paradise must surely have superb indoor plumbing.

So yeah. Paradise has to have man-loving animals, no deadly viruses, and exceptional plumbing to be paradise. Otherwise, I’ll just stay home, thanks.

Lesson Learned

Concerning Criticism of Celebrities, Rule #47,267a v2: Never criticize a celebrity who has a large fan club that is very active on the internet, especially if an overly large number of the fan club members are German.

Note to self: Remove David Hasselhoff from the “Potential Blog Topics” list.

LATER: OMG!!! I can’t stand it!! David Hasselhoff is a talentless, brain dead, tone deaf, devil lovin’, sloppy drunk who has no business judging a “talent” competition.

Sigh. I feel better.

My Celebrity BFF


You know, I just don’t understand why people worship celebrities.

Take my Jane Seymour post, for example. I was bringing the funny (or so I thought) writing about my college horse-loving possibly-lesbian roommate who loved Jane Seymour so much, and subsequently watched Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman so much in our dorm room, that I developed a rather intense and totally irrational hatred for anything Jane Seymour related. And that immediately brought out the Jane Seymour fangirls/sycophants who insisted on this blog that I was an uninformed, petty bitch for the said hatred. On the Jane Seymour fansite forum that linked to my post, they insisted that I was a schizophrenic*, bitter, jealous, stupid, uneducated single woman with bad hair writing improper literature. All that just because I hate Jane Seymour?


Let me get one thing out of the way: Trolls don’t bother me. Differing opinions don’t bother me. I don’t care if you call me everything but a child of God because of my opinion. It just doesn’t bother me. I am confidant enough in my own opinion that it doesn’t bother me when people disagree or call me names because of it.

What bothers me is slavish devotion to celebrities. And people who personalize their “relationships” with celebrities bother me even more.

Oh sure, if you’re defending your sister or cousin or mother or pal or boyfriend or lover or something, I can understand getting all het up over a criticism of that personal relation. But owning the complete series of House  on Special Edition DVD does not make Hugh Laurie your pal. Meeting Nathan Fillion at a SciFi convention does not make him your boyfriend. Knowing who Hugh Jackman was (via Oklahoma)  before he became famous as Wolverine does not mean he knows about you. And getting Gerard Butler’s signature at some publicity thingie does not make him your lover.

And posting to a Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman Forum does not make Jane Seymour your BFF. (More important, criticism of Jane Seymour does not equal criticism of you.)

Though, certainly, you can dream. Just don’t think your “personal” knowledge of celebrities means that you know them personally.

Oh sure, a lot of celebrities make an effort to give “private” information about themselves to fans. And there’s a lot of “private” information that is “leaked” to the press. Most of that is nonsense generated to create publicity and is “leaked” with the celebrity’s full knowledge and consent. The whole thing is crazy.

So yeah. When a celebrity annoys me or pisses me off or something, I’m going to write about it. And likely, it’s not going to be nice because I think celebrities are narcissistic sacks of shit and shouldn’t be worshipped with the slavish devotion they’re given.

If you want nice stuff about celebrities, go somewhere else. Go visit fan club websites or even their own websites. You’ll find other celebrity worshippers there who are just as deluded as you are. I write deluded because what you’re worshipping is fake.

Celebrities, as we know them, aren’t real people. They’re made up of bits and pieces of other people’s ideas that have been glued together to make them marketable. 

You want to idolize someone? How about your mom? How about giving her some of that slavish devotion, huh? Why not follow what’s going on in your granny’s life with the fervor you give when following some idiot celebrity’s life? Why not have a family forum where you can post about what’s happening in your sister’s life? Hell, you’ve probably got nieces and nephews who would love some of that attention.

There are plenty of everyday people who do great things and go unrecognized. Find one of them. My guess is, you already know a few. Hell, you’ve probably got a couple in your immediate family. So go call your dad and tell him how great he is for putting up with your nonsense.

Leave the celebrities to their inbred nonsensical glittery elitist little world.

* NOTE: I’ll post later about how ugly it is to use schizophrenia (or any mental illness) to make fun of someone, even when they don’t have the mental illness. I won’t post about it right now because that’s something that really pisses me off. And I like to cool down for a couple of days before I post about topics that piss me off this much. It’s never a good idea to post pissed.