Addiction

I’ve been up all night on Ancestry.com. If you haven’t worked on genealogy in a while, and I haven’t since 1996, that place is addictive. It’s fairly awesome, though I’m not sure it’s worth the expense. But gawd, is that place slow.

If you’re not a genealogy geek as I am, you’re not going to understand this. I just got a line back to 395 AD. Yeah, the year. I’ve been doing a happy dance since about 2 AM.

The way-back ancestor’s name was Clodio; he was the first Merovingian king. And if you’re up on your Da Vinci Code, you know that means that I’m a descendant of Jesus and Mary. The Jesus and Mary. Walk on water Jesus and Mary. I think it’s pretty much nonsense, so I wasn’t up on the Da Vinci Code; I didn’t find out about it until I googled “merovingian”. Boy, did I giggle forever.

So… I don’t believe the nonsense about the Merovingians being descended from Jesus. At least, I think it’s useless to rewrite history now, after all the times it has previously been rewritten. So speculation about secret societies and “holy” bloodlines from 2000 years ago seems a fair waste of time.  And I’m not even Christian, so it doesn’t really mean much to me if you assume that the “research” is accurate; I certainly don’t. Though, that’s not to say I can’t have fun with it.

So worship me. Feel free. Snerk.

LATER: I think being descended from Charlemagne is much, much cooler. And shyeah, I’ve got him in my genes, too. Jesus and Charlemagne. Awesome.

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Grouping

I’m a fan of men. They get beat up fairly regularly. Pretty unfairly. Mostly undeservedly. 

And white men… They don’t seem to have many supporters, even among white women. I’ve always thought that it was because they are the target of so many different groups’ ire. But now I’m convinced that they’ve been the target of a single entity with many different arms.

[Via Instapundit, which means you’ve all probably already watched the PJTV video of Bill Whittle to which I linked above.]

I Question Everything

Is it wrong that I consider the largest down-side to being a porn star the fact that the porn star income is so heavily dependant upon ass hair removal and/or maintenance?

 

Why do I dress in my best “casual” clothes for doctor visits when the doctor only ever sees me in panties and a paper “dress”?

 

Why do the TV show titles on Animal Planet sound like titles of gay porn?

 

Why do lip glosses come in such yummy scents and flavors when the lip gloss boxes warn users that the gloss itself is harmful when swallowed?

 

How difficult can it be for men to find pants that fit when they don’t have hips? And why do mens’ pants have such a complicated sizing system when, compared to women, they have an easier time with fit?

Apologies

Sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I was recently traumatized by this picture (after clicking on a mystery meat link, no less – I should’ve known better). Internet surfing has induced panic attacks ever since. On the bright side, my therapist is taking his family on vacation this month.

Seriously, first it was blogging malaise; then it was a sinus infection; then it was blogging malaise; and then it was family drama, sinus infection, malaise, and stomach flu. At the same time.

Right now, it’s just the stomach flu; so I’m feeling relatively better.  Blogging to recommence soon. (And shyeah, I know… first rule of blogging: never apologize for not blogging. D’oh!)

Oh No!

The Apocalypse is nigh.

Twitterers (Tweeters? Twits?), take heart! Fox News has just reported that Twitter is indeed back up and running; though you may have to wait for your Twitter fix since it is suffering from some serious snail fail.

The Apocalypse? I think this is the first time in human history that the news was interrupted to announce such a thing. This is proof of at least one  (I think it’s proof of all) of the following: 

1) Twitter is addictive;

2) Twitter is so all pervasive that Twitter outage warrants breaking into regular news programming;

3) Twitter is now officially lame (no seriously “cool” thing – or whatever they’re calling the newest, bestest craze these days – is that popular with the masses); and/or

4) I was right to never join.

LATER: How funny is it that “Twitter” is a word in the wordpress spellchecker but “Obama” is not? Mildly.