As we all know from Al Gore’s super-duper-scientific, completely true documentary/religious epic (Praise Gore!), emitting CO2 into the atmosphere will increase the planet’s temperature. And since we all know that Gore has never, ever been wrong about anything what-so-ever (Praise Gore!), we all know what we must do.
Clearly, we must all put as much CO2 into the atmosphere as possible.
Americans! Do your part to stop this disaster before it happens! Drive your cars as much as possible. Leave your lights on when you’re not in the room. Run your clothes washer half-full. Run your dishwasher empty. Breed cows and sheep. Only eat fruits and veggies imported from other countries, the further the better. Buy big honkin’ SUVs and drive them alone.
I know we can do it. Yes we can!
* I don’t know if there’s any reasonable science to this claim or not. At this point, anyone claiming to predict what the climate will do in the future is instantly suspicious to me. Still, it’s good for a joke or two.
And hey! I’m in Georgia, fairly close to South America. And my uncle has a big honkin’ bass boat. So my family’s good for a trip or two to the southern hemisphere.