Start Your Engines…

The Northern Hemisphere is headed for an ice age!*

As we all know from Al Gore’s super-duper-scientific, completely true documentary/religious epic (Praise Gore!), emitting CO2 into the atmosphere will increase the planet’s temperature. And since we all know that Gore has never, ever been wrong about anything what-so-ever (Praise Gore!), we all know what we must do.

Clearly, we must all put as much CO2 into the atmosphere as possible.

Americans! Do your part to stop this disaster before it happens! Drive your cars as much as possible. Leave your lights on when you’re not in the room. Run your clothes washer half-full. Run your dishwasher empty. Breed cows and sheep. Only eat fruits and veggies imported from other countries, the further the better.  Buy big honkin’ SUVs and drive them alone.

I know we can do it. Yes we can!

(Praise Gore!)

* I don’t know if there’s any reasonable science to this claim or not. At this point, anyone claiming to predict what the climate will do in the future is instantly suspicious to me. Still, it’s good for a joke or two.

And hey! I’m in Georgia, fairly close to South America. And my uncle has a big honkin’ bass boat. So my family’s good for a trip or two to the southern hemisphere.

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5 comments on “Start Your Engines…

  1. pam says:

    One more ‘praise gore’ in there and I was going to start bleeding from the eyes. LOL!

    Isn’t this global warming a funny thing? First we were going to sizzle on the sidewalks like bacon and now we’re all going to freeze to death. ;)

  2. Kurt P says:

    You know, with all the hysteria about temprature change- I’ve never once heard what the *CORRECT* temperature is supposed to be.

    I’d believe a cooling period is coming because of the lack of sunspot activity that started last year (I think), and that has two cycles (major and minor) that match the historic cooling periods they’ve studied.

  3. Algore should just come out and declare victory over Global Warming, then slink back to his hole.
    It’s COLD~!

  4. Prudie says:

    (Praise Gore!)

    Sorry pam, I couldn’t resist. :D In my defense, it was for sarcastic effect!

    Kurt P, the correct temperature is whatever number they’ve pulled out of their collective ass today. I have no other explanation for man-made climate change alarmists. Either that, or they’re receiving visions from their Lord and Master, Gore. (Praise Gore!) [Sorry pam!]

    LM, where’s global warming when you need it? It’s freezing here, too!

  5. Alex Cull says:

    It’s not very warm over here in London either. A widespread frost overnight, and the coldest winter for many a year. Wish it was 1998 again!

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