Hello. I’m Prudie. And I’m a Survivor junkie.
And I’m unashamed.
Mostly, I think the show is full of shit. But it’s entertaining shit so I keep watching it season after season. I probably should have stopped after the third or so season, but it’s also addictive shit. So there’s no stopping until some sort of intervention happens… or until CBS cancels the show, whichever comes first.
This season, Survivor’s theme is “Earth’s Last Eden” and it’s being shot in Gabon, Africa. The premise is that Gabon, Africa is the last protected, untouched, unspoiled paradise on Earth. Really?
[Full Disclosure: I have nothing against Africa. It’s a continent full of greedy, drug-dealing, genocidal despots. But then, what continent isn’t?]
I have a problem with the notion of paradise being anywhere on or associated with Africa. First of all, there’s the aforementioned greedy, drug-dealing, genocidal despots. I have the general impression that they seem to have more than their fair share.
Then there’s the location itself… I dunno, I never imagined paradise having quite so many man-eating animals lurking. If Survivor footage is to be believed (and really, you can’t believe anything on Survivor to be real – still), then there are alligators/crocodiles, snakes, elephants, insects and more all waiting to gobble up the nearest homosapiens. Really, if I could design my own paradise, any animal that isn’t 100% completely in love with the idea of living in harmony with me just wouldn’t make it inside.
And I gotta admit, I never thought I’d need 50+ shots to enter paradise. Perhaps 50 is an exaggeration, but not much of one. In my own created paradise, you wouldn’t need a few series of TB or rabies vaccinations to enter.
Last, but certainly not least, I wouldn’t place paradise on a continent where squat toilets are commonplace. Ew. Paradise must surely have superb indoor plumbing.
So yeah. Paradise has to have man-loving animals, no deadly viruses, and exceptional plumbing to be paradise. Otherwise, I’ll just stay home, thanks.