One Word Meme

I found this little questionairre over at The Real Dave’s. Rules are that all answers must be one word only and cannot be used more than once.

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? none
3. Your hair? brown
4. Your mother? home
5. Your father? ditto.

6. Your favorite time of day? late
7. Your dream last night? wicked
8. Your favorite drink? lemonaid
9. Your dream goal? security
10. The room you’re in? breakfast

11. Your ex? oy
12. Your fear? poverty
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? secure
14. What you are not? dumb
15. Your Favorite meal? steak

16. One of your wish list items? Paducah
17. The last thing you did? commented
18. Where you grew up? here
19. What are you wearing? glasses
20. Your TV is? flat

21. Your pets? allergic
22. Your computer? black
23. Your life? sinusoid
24. Your mood? sleepy
25. Missing someone? nope

26. Your car? Sportage
27. Something you’re not wearing? ring
28. Favorite store? bookstore
29. Your summer? hot
30. Your favorite color? blue

31. When is the last time you laughed? today
32. When is the last time you cried? 2
33. Your health? oscillating
34. Your children? someday
35. Your future? unclear

36. Your beliefs? pagan
37. Young or old? depends
38. Your image? blurry
39. Your appearance? rounded
40. Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? yes

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Party Girl

Cyd Charisse died recently and I completely missed it. She was one of my favorite actresses, who just happened to star in one of my favorite movies, Brigadoon.

On YouTube, I found some clips of her  dancing that I’ve never seen before. She does a strip tease here and dances with Ricardo Montalban here. (KHAAAAN!!!! Ahem. I must say, he was extremely handsome and sexy in that clip.)

Back to Cyd Charisse, here’s her famous Singin’ in the Rain cameo (in the green dress and the white dress – Gawd, that scarf is fabulous and that kiss at 1:40 is hot (for some reason, I find that whole thing where they’re both wrapped up in the scarf and he’s carrying around her completely hot)) and here she is again with Gene Kelley in Brigadoon.

If my legs were half as nice as hers were, I’d be a happy woman.

Tomato Armaggedon

Well, it looks like the tomato plants aren’t going to make it. They lost too much plant material and now they’re in shock. I may get a small, miserly crop much later, but it’s more likely that they’ll just die.

I’m debating whether to get more tomato plants or just not have tomatoes this year.

Tomato Woe

So. I’ve got about 19 tomato plants in the backyard. On Monday night, they were eye high with hundreds of baby tomatoes on them. On Tuesday night, most were waist high with only the largest of the tomatoes present. A few of them were knee high. One is almost completely gone.

I’ve been in a pissy mood ever since. Because the plants were gone from the top down, I thought deer had been snacking on my plants. (Last year, it was bunnies eating the baby tomatoes at the base of each plant. But this couldn’t have been bunnies, unless they were acrobatic bunnies who stood on each others’ shoulders just to eat the top of the tomato plants.) So I sprinkled chipotle pepper flakes on the plants to keep the deer away until I could find a permanent solution. Turns out that wasn’t necessary.

Later, as I searched for green tomatoes to pick for fried green tomatoes, I found this ugly bastard:

The Little Bastard Responsible

It’s a Tomato Hornworm, the little bastard; it’s about two inches long and capable of eating a whole patch of tomato plants in 24 hours. While I took this picture, it ate an entire leaf off of my tomato plant.

I killed this one and sprayed to kill any others lingering around my tomatoes. Bastard.

So my tomato crop is going to suffer this year. No canning for me. I’ll be lucky if the plants don’t die from losing about half of their height in less than 24 hours.

Dammit. I am so pissed.

I Want to Believe

I left the LDS church (the Mormon church) a few years ago. With all of the mess that’s been occupying my life for the past two years, I haven’t had much time to think about religion… other than a sharp realization that I could no longer pretend to understand why Christ was divine. (Well, that’s the short story. There’s more to it, naturally.)

So where does that leave me? I don’t know.

I haven’t had a lot of time to examine what I believe. That’s changed now. Most of the mess I’ve endured has been cleared up. And the remainder could be gone any day. So I no longer have a valid excuse or a clear rationalization to avoid it, no matter how tempting it seems.

There’s no rush to figure out what I believe I suppose; though I do feel some urgency to belong. Even if I never attend a church meeting again (in whatever church), there is comfort in knowledge, in knowing where you fit into the grand scheme of things, in knowing that you fit in with others somehow. So what to believe?

Oh, I know some of what I don’t  believe: I don’t believe in the Abrahamic religions. But that isn’t to say that there aren’t parts of that particular religious group that aren’t true. It’s just, as a whole, I’ve examined them and found them unbelievable.

Take Christians, for example; as I’ve already stated, I can’t believe in any religion that believes Christ was divine. As for the other two big Abrahamic religions, Judaism and Islam, they both believe in a single, male God.

It’s not that I have anything against male Gods. I couldn’t believe in a single, female God either. I just can’t believe that there is one all-powerful being in control, male or female.

Perhaps it’s a result of my Mormon upbringing: Mormons believe in a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. Oh, they only worship the one male God, but they believe in his female mate too. (What’s more, they believe that an infinite number of Heavenly beings existing somewhere. They just don’t worship them. So they really don’t care much about them, which is one reason why they’re never mentioned and most non-members don’t know about them.)

The idea of many male and female divine high somethings, well, that makes more sense to me. And going from a belief in many Gods to a belief in one single God feels like downsizing anyway.

I’ve looked closely at Atheism. There is an awfully tempting logic to Atheism, and a certain amount of altruism to which I’m drawn. But there’s an awfully tempting logic to belief in a deity, too. Either way, it’s a belief; for just as there’s no proof that there is something divine out there, there’s no real proof that there isn’t.

Which is all to say that I’m leaning heavily towards belief in some divine thingamabobs, and not just one. Which lead me to Paganism. I’m just getting introduced to it by way of the internet. I’m looking for a few good books as references now, since many Pagan internet sites can’t seem to agree on much and much more of it seems a little, well… froofy.

Frankly, I can’t see myself taking spiritual advice from some guy who has chosen to name himself after a flower, wears long plastic beads with Birkenstocks and tie-dye tees, and looks like he has a severe case of patchouli-stank.

I’m hoping to find someone a little more authoritative on the subject than good old patchouli-stinking Sunflower Goodfyllowe, or whatever his name was. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just not me.

I mean, Prudence Ponder  is not my real name. (Y’all got that, right?) Yeah, I chose  Prudence Ponder, for various reasons. So me following a self-named Moonman Ravynwylde… not going to happen.

What it all boils down to, I think, is what I want to believe. Oh, I don’t believe that there is a divine green-eyed purple polka-dotted hippo out there that controls the universe, or whatever. I’ve never believed in anything remotely related to Calvinism. I never could.

I just can’t escape the feeling that there is more out there, that there are divine somethings that have some interest in us, however small. And I’d like to think that we have some connection to them.

I think, that after a few years in hell where I couldn’t believe, I’m willing and ready to have faith in some divine pooh-bahs. Whoever they are.

Meme-fest

I’ve been a woefully neglectful blogger lately. No inspiration. No will to blog. No ideas.

Luckily, Abbadon had a meme thingie going a while back. Woohoo! I love a meme.

1. What is your occupation? Currently: Job Hunter. Previously: Water Resource Engineer.

2. What color are your socks right now? I hate socks. Mostly, I’m barefoot or in sandals. Right now, I’m barefoot.

3. What are you listening to right now? The plink of metal on metal as my jean buttons hit the drum of the dryer.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Chicken Tenders from Shane’s Rib Shack.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Alas, no.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My favorite aunt.

7. Do you like the person who tagged you? Well, he didn’t tag me, but yep, I like him!

8. How old are you today? 32.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch? Curling. Mostly because I like to laugh at how serious the Curlers are. It makes me giggle. I love sports where the athletes aren’t paid much. It somehow makes it seem more… noble, I guess. It’s more for love than money, which just makes it more interesting to me, even if I don’t understand a thing about what’s going on, like in Curling.

10. What is your favorite drink? A fruit and vegetable juice drink I make: 3/4 lb carrots, 1 heart of celery, and 2 apples. Sometimes I add a half of a cucumber.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Hee, oh yeah. Many, many times. But I haven’t since the Unfortunate Incident of 1994.

I guess the horror of The Unfortunate Incident is fading since I’m considering going red again.

12. Last time you hugged your child? I am childless. Alas.

13. Favorite food? Mexican anything. Yum.

14. What was the last movie you watched? At the theater? Sweeney Todd. At home? Serenity.

15. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Eve, even though I’m not Christian.

16. How do you vent anger? Blogging mostly. Therapy occasionally. Miracle Balls often.

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? My red Hot Wheels.

18. What is your favorite season? Autumn.

19. Ocean or pool? Pool. I hate beaches.

20. Cherries or Blueberries? Neither. Yuck.

21. Do you want your family & friends to participate? Participate in what? In this? Snerk. My family thinks this blogging stuff is a phase. I’ve stopped reminding them that it’s a phase that’s lasted, thus far, 11 years and has yet to see signs of stopping, though it does show signs of lagging a bit here and there. Blogging is cyclical, so I’m not too worried. I’ll pick it back up full time when the juice gets stirred again.

22. Who is the most likely to respond? Since I’m not tagging anyone, no one.

24. Living arrangements? Single.

25. When was the last time you cried? About two hours ago.

26. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and books.

27. Who is the family or friend you have known the longest that you are tagging? Not tagging anyone.

28. What did you do last night? Quilted, cooked, ate, cleaned, looked for a job. Such is my life.

29. Hawaii or Florida? Neither. I really don’t like beaches. I prefer the mountains to beaches.

30. What inspires you? Practically anything.

31. What are you most afraid of? Being homeless. Dying alone.

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Plain steak hamburger on toast with Gorgonzola.

33. Favorite dog breed? I love them all, but most especially Spinone Italianos. Awww.

34. Favorite day of the week? No particular favorite. Though I am partial to any day I get a quilt block completed.

35 How many states have you lived in? Two: Alabama and Georgia. Prefer Georgia – the north Georgia mountains to be specific.

36 Do you like these questionnaires? Mostly.

37. What kind of car did your very first date drive? I don’t remember. His Mom drove us to see Phantom of the Opera, the one that starred the Freddy Krueger guy. I think she drove some little boxy Japanese cheapo car. (It was 1989, before Japanese cars became well known for reliability.) I was 13 and he was 14, so neither of us drove and cars weren’t really on my radar then. I remember being horribly embarrassed by the thing since there was some frontal nudity in it. I thought, Oh no, boobs!  Heh, poor Joe. I think he was more embarrassed than I was.

Oh good grief, I just realized that it’s almost been 20 years since that first date. Gawd, I feel old.

38. What is the last book you read? I can’t remember if it was Sizzle and Burn or Demon’s Fire. You’d think I’d remember since I just read it this morning.

39. What are your hobbies? Blogging, quilting, scrapbooking, writing, crafting, gardening, reading.

40. Can you still make the Hula Hoop stay around your waist? Yep. My waist is small and my hips are large. Which means I’m built for both hauling babies around and keeping hula hoops up.