Sex and the City, the Movie

If you’re not a fan of Sex in the City, you might want to skip this post. ‘Cause you’re not going to understand half of what I’m writing about and you’ll find it boring. So consider yourself warned: I will accept no post-post whining in the comments about how long I went on and on about some stupid overrated TV show that’s not even on the air any more. So whine at your own risk; you will be mercilessly teased if you do so. On with the post!

Oh wait, I need to add a second warning: I haven’t seen the movie. But I am making a number of guesses as to its contents. So don’t think that anything I write is a spoiler. It’s not as far as I know. If I’m wrong, well, I guess we’ll see. If I’m right, then don’t come crying to me about ruining the movie for you. I had no idea. And yes, that just goes to show how truly awesome I am… Or it shows how truly terrible, unimaginative, and tired the writers of the Sex and the City movie are. Whichever. On with the post! Really.

I loved Sex in the City.

Oh, in the series, the fashions were deplorable. Seriously, did their mothers not teach those floozies how to dress? Or did the simple joy of adult independence strain the fashion cortex of their brains?

The plots were… well, to be kind, the plot lines of the SitC episodes were ridiculous. Completely implausible, in most cases.

The dialog was stupid in a narcissistic, uber-elite, hey-aren’t-I-naughty, bullshit kind of way.

The acting was passable in some cases and dreary in others. The better performances usually came from the guest stars and supporting characters.

I wasn’t a big fan of the main four. Of the four main actors, I found Cynthia Nixon to be the least objectionable and Sarah Jessica Parker to be the most. Of the four main characters, I identified mostly with Charlotte. (Make of that what you will. I certainly don’t know what to think about it.)

And the dysfunctional relationships were a psychologist’s wet dream.

I’m not entirely sure why I loved it so much.

But I did, and I’m giving the upcoming movie the stink eye.

See, I didn’t like Carrie winding up with Big when the series ended. Don’t get me wrong, Chris Noth (the actor who played Big) is gorgeous. He’s easily my number one pick for pure Hollywood hotitude. And he’s easily the best actor who regularly appeared on the show. But the character Big was an occasional ass. More than that, Carrie was an even bigger ass. Usually, I’d say that two asses deserve each other, but the Carrie/Big relationship never did anything for me.

And the movie commercials promise that the movie is about the Carrie/Big wedding. Oy. The idea of enduring a whole two hours devoted to a Carrie/Big wedding is unstomachable. Already, the commercials about The Dress are laughable, and not in a good, comedic way.

And yes again there are the commercials, which tease that maybe the long awaited (by some) Big/Carrie wedding might not happen. Well, yay, I guess. But are we really to be subjected to a two hour long Carrie weep-fest over Big? ‘Cause, seriously, we’ve been through several seasons of that already, what with the Carrie/Big on and off and on and off and on again relationship.

What more is there to weep about? Are they really going to subject us to two hours of Sarah Jessica Parker’s big red snotty drippy nose on the big screen? It was big, red, snotty, and drippy enough on my little 24 inch TV; I can’t imagine what proportions it will take in high definition big screen imagery.

I’m not sure that I want to even see the movie. The series ended fairly well in that it closed some open story lines and left enough open to the imagination. I didn’t like all the French shit that happened at the last minute. (It seemed like it was thrown in, unplanned, just to make the setting different. At the time, I thought that it was good thing that the series was ending since they’d started resorting to sorry gimmicky props like a Parisian backdrop.)

Anyway, I guess my reaction to the SitC  movie commercials is: meh. I haven’t decided if I’ll see it in theaters yet or if I’ll wait until it’s released on DVD.


12 comments on “Sex and the City, the Movie

  1. Abbadon says:

    I’m a fan of sex in the city, sex in the country, sex on the ocean – did I miss something?

  2. Prudie says:

    Ha. I think it’s safe to say that you’re a fan of sex. Period. Right?

    As far as missing anything goes, you missed six seasons of bad acting, ever worse fashions, an implausible plot, stupid dialog, blatant floozery, and Sarah Jessica Parker’s drippy nose. Like I said in the post, despite all that, I loved it. :) So you may have missed something. I dunno.

  3. pajama momma says:

    You forgot sex in the air Abbadon.
    I never watched SitC till it got to TBS. My sister says I’m crazy because all the good stuff gets edited out. So apparently I’m missing all sorts of naughty.

  4. Abbadon says:

    you missed…Sarah Jessica Parker’s drippy nose.


    In spite of hundreds of thousands of miles flown, I have never had sex in the air, PJM. However, to add to my personal list:

    Sex on the beach, sex in the girl’s dormitory, sex in the car, sex in the living room, sex in the bedroom, sex in the hot tub, sex in the back yard…

  5. pam says:

    I’ll wait until the flick comes to HBO. I doubt I’d even rent the DVD.

    I loved SitC myself, since it reminded me of myself and my friends, only sluttier. Carrie was an a$$ in the show, I totally agree.

    I saw an ad this morning for the movie that gave more details… C &B get married, Charlotte gets pregnant and Miranda gets divorced. I guess Samantha is still whoring around. Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. ;)

    So, that’s all I need to know. Except I can’t believe Abbadon has not joined the Mile High Club yet. LOL!

    [Pam, I don’t know why my spam blocker thingie blocked your comment. I’ve fixed it now! -Prudie 5/27/2008]

  6. Prudie says:

    PJ Momma, you are missing all the naughty. I’ve seen some of the TBS versions (that’s how I got interested in the series) and you miss half of the plot because a good many of them revolve around things they can’t mention or show on TBS. And forget about bleeping them out… Conversations in the coffee house would be something like this:

    “I can’t believe he asked me to bleeeeep bleeep.”
    “What? All you do is bleeep bleep. No big deal.”
    “You’ve bleeeped?”
    “Well, I’ve bleeeeped his bleeeeeeeep and it’s bleeping fabulous.”
    “Bleeeeeeeeeeeeep bleeeeep isn’t all that bleep. Especially when he bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps.”

    And then they’d have to show pictures of the ocean or something while explaining all the missing plot that went on and couldn’t be shown because of the censor cuts. There’s tons of dialog during sex or while nekkid.

    So TBS made it easy on themselves and just cut entire plot lines that were too difficult to explain without the censored bits. It helped that some scenes were shot twice while they were filming originally: once for the HBO version and once for a syndicated version.

  7. Vmaximus says:

    Pajama Momma,
    I watched it for the T&A, I wanted to see the brunettes boobies, but I missed out.

  8. Abbadon says:

    Did I mention sex in the brunette?

  9. pajama momma says:

    Well, I’ve bleeeeped his bleeeeeeeep and it’s bleeping fabulous.”
    “Bleeeeeeeeeeeeep bleeeeep isn’t all that bleep. Especially when he bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps


    @Vmaximus, well at least you didn’t want to see Sarah Jessica Parker’s boobs or we’d have to wonder about your sexuality. ;)

  10. Prudie says:

    SJP doesn’t have boobs. She has muscles there instead.

  11. Abbadon says:

    SJP doesn’t have boobs. She has muscles there instead./i>

    Yes! Exactly the point I just made chez moi! I want a woman to look like a woman, with curves and all.

    Emphasis on all. :oD>

  12. Melissa says:

    Okay an update for all that care. I agree with the feedback on the series. I got to see it on HBO and loved it despite all of its issues. The movie was the exact same. LOVED IT but it had many of the same issues the series did, just longer, so more of it! :) You will enjoy Prudie.

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