For years, I’ve had T-Mobile cell phone service. I have one of those family plans with my mother in which I’m the primary. We both save money and minutes that way. We rarely go over our minutes – we’ve never used more than 50% of our minutes – and so, for some time now, I’ve been looking at other plans with fewer minutes for less money.
My mother has a lot of AT&T services. During a service call to AT&T, a salesman sold my mother on their cell phone service which would be much cheaper when bundled with all her other services she already has with AT&T. We’d keep the phones we have now until our new phones arrived. At that time we’d transfer our numbers to the new phone. The salesman assured her that we’d maintain service.
Neither of us can go without a cell phone. My car, a 2005 Kia Sportage, is super reliable. My mother’s car is a 1991 Ford Crown Victoria, a former police interceptor. It’s not reliable at all. Currently, I’m driving my mother’s POS Ford and she’s driving my Kia, for reasons too many to get into here.
Reliable cell phone service is a priority. I drive on back roads and through bad neighborhoods weekly. Should the POS stop, which is likely – it’s happened before several times, and leave me stranded somewhere where there is no reputable business nearby, I need a cell phone to call for a ride. My mother, though she drives my reliable little Kia, drives through bad neighborhoods daily to get to work. She’s also diabetic, so having a cell phone could be a matter of life or death for her.
So. We need reliable cell phones for every day use. Back to the story, we switched service to AT&T with their assurance that we’d suffer no disrupted service and our brand new phones would arrive in 7-10 days. That was Thursday night.
Friday morning, my mother’s cell didn’t work. After suffering through a 1.5 hour long call to T-Mobile, I found out that AT&T had already transferred my mother’s cell phone number away from T-Mobile. And we didn’t even have our AT&T phones yet.
After an agonizing 2 hour phone call to AT&T, I found out several things:
1) AT&T made a mistake by transferring our service to them on one of our cell numbers before we received our AT&T phones;
2) AT&T can’t track packages through their own system;
3) AT&T can’t track orders through their own system;
4) AT&T can’t express ship anything because it’s against guidelines;
5) One division of AT&T doesn’t have any clue what the other divisions of AT&T do;
6) The different divisions within AT&T do not normally speak to each other – asking them to do so will cause general mayhem after which the customer service rep will speak incoherently about things like “porting” and “key-in errors;”
7) Once your cell number is transferred it can’t be transferred again until a certain length of time has passed – supposedly, this is a federal law;
8) AT&T, the company, has very little to do with AT&T, the mall kiosk – so picking up an order at a kiosk after placing it on the phone or online is impossible;
9) AT&T will do absolutely nothing once they’ve made a mistake to correct that mistake – customer service reps will apologize profusely and offer to remove the service/installation charges from your bill – charges that you were originally told (when you placed the order) would not be charged to begin with because you’re an existing customer; and
10) AT&T sucks.
I suspect that I was lied to about their inability to expedite or track the order. What company doesn’t have that ability? Seriously, I wasn’t ordering service from Ma and Pa’s Cell Fones R Us; I was ordering from freaking AT&T, for crying out loud. AT&T used to be part of BellSouth. They’ve been around forever. They seriously expect me to believe that their computers can’t track if or when an order has been shipped? They can’t tell me when it’s expected to arrive? I call BS on that. I call a whole truckload of hot, steamy, stinky BS on that.
I was told to expect the new AT&T phones Monday or Tuesday. It’s Wednesday and they’re not here. I’ve been practicing relaxation methods all day, knowing that they would arrive any minute.
Well, I’d almost come to terms with knowing that I was trusting my safety and my mother’s life to the seriously flawed AT&T. After all, I expected the phones to arrive any minute. And thus all would be forgiven.
But f’n AT&T wasn’t finished with me yet. Oh, no – not by a long shot. Today, I received a phone call. It was one of those automated, faux happy, chirpy messages that make me want to gouge my eardrums with an X-acto knife.
And the message? AT&T was so very happy to inform me that my order was placed today. And. My order will be shipped… tomorrow. And the order will arrive in 7 – 10 days from… tomorrow.
Kasfkjnif uvnsldbh vasdl sdvb!!!!1!eleventy!!!!!!1!!!!
A few hours later…
I’m calm. Really. Sigh. Kim du Toit talks about a Red Curtain of Blood when he becomes sufficiently angry. RCOB, indeed.
So. I’m thinking that when I get those phones, I’m going to send them right back. And I’ll find another service who knows the difference between a port and their ass.
I’ll go now. I’ve got to go meditate on my Miracle Balls.