I Heart Mormons

You know, all I had to do was mention that I am a former Mormon. Thus the Mormon bashing began. Oh, not so much in the comments of the post I linked, but in emails I received (all three of them) congratulating me on leaving the LDS church. Huh? Why congratulate me? I don’t get it. It’s not like I’ve just arrived in Miami after suffering in Cuba. It’s not like I left something bad.

I love Mormons. Don’t laugh. I do, really. Most of my family is active in the LDS church. I respect the teachings of the church. And I think that Mormons try to lead honest, good lives in keeping with the dictates of their religious beliefs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Why do people assume that because I don’t agree with the teachings of the Mormon church and have subsequently left it, that I bear it some ill will? I don’t. I don’t view my leaving the LDS church as a good thing. Oh, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just a change brought about by some serious, prolonged navel gazing. Not good, not bad, just is.

Many people do hate the LDS church after leaving, I know. I don’t understand it, but I know that Mormon hatred is common among former members. Many former Mormons form groups that “help” current Mormons understand why they too should leave the LDS church. Often, these people, many of whom claim to once have held “high positions” within the church, publish lies against the church on the internet or in books. [Well, I’m assuming that most lie (I’m sure some do lie deliberately); more likely, it’s simply that they don’t know better. LDS doctrine is large, very large, and confusing to explain – because it uses much of the same language as other Christian churches (with different definitions), the doctrine is often misunderstood by both new members and lifers. I think this indicates a problem within the LDS church Sunday format itself; Gospel Doctrine class isn’t getting the job done and the church leaders need to figure out why and fix it. Also, I think that missionary training should be addressed and revised to help out with the more common misunderstandings.]

Anyway. Mormon bashing on this blog will not be allowed to go unanswered. Oh, I tease and poke fun and tell a Jello joke with the best of them (LDS culture is funny! I’ve always thought that, even when I was a Mormon) and I’ll make fun of the high birth rate and the made-up curses and the polygamy thing (I know, don’t write emails), but it is not meant with the malice or glee that I see coming from some other former members. Like I said, I heart Mormons. And I wasn’t being sarcastic or ironic. Like I told my mother, I don’t believe in the church’s doctrine, but I am the result of five or six generations of LDS teachings. You can’t get rid of that easily. I’m more of a cultural Mormon – I don’t have the religious beliefs, but I do have many of the idiosyncrasies that usually go along with the beliefs.

So, how many Mormons does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven: one husband standing on a chair with a new bulb in his hand – and six of his wives standing around telling him nine different ways to screw it in. [Hey! I said I knew Mormon jokes. I didn’t say they were good.]


15 comments on “I Heart Mormons

  1. […] March 18, 2008 by Todd Wood There are others like this “Georgia girl“.  […]

  2. wardfunk says:

    This was a wonderful post, thank you for taking a stand on this issue. I’ve recently seen a lot of Mormon bashing going on around wordpress recently, and your post was like a breath of fresh air.

    A Mormon girl living in Utah, I recently drove to OK with some friends, a guy and three other women to be exact and we had a hay day laughing and joking about being polygamists and sister wives. Good times.

    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Prudie says:

    Sister wives. Ha. I love it. My cousins and I used to make similar jokes. And yes, we were cousins (living in Alabama at the time) and joked about being redneck Mormons… polygamy and inbreeding!

    Yeah, I’ve noticed the same thing, pretty much across the web. And when I found it on my own site and in emails directed to me, assuming that I was in total agreement with the bashing only because I am a former Mormon… well, it made me fairly angry. Thus the post.

  4. pajama momma says:

    I voted for mitt, does that count?

  5. runtu says:

    I totally agree. I don’t hate the Mormon church or its members. Most of my family is still LDS. Just because I don’t believe in it, it doesn’t mean I have to bash it. I’ll speak up when I disagree with the church (which is often), but beating up on the church just because is not right.

  6. Prudie says:

    pjmomma, that totally counts. If you wanna be really hardcore Mormon lover, then you gotta vote for him again… in the general election. Yep, the old write in ballot. I know people who are planning on doing it.

  7. pajama momma says:

    Ack, I tell you the thought of voting for McCain makes me want to puke.

  8. Prudie says:

    You’re not kidding. Which is why I think so many people are going to write in someone. I’m considering holding my nose and voting for McCain. It depends. But then, writing in “Cthulhu” is still not out of the question if I can’t convince myself of the necessity of McCain.

  9. Abbadon says:

    Half my family are Mormons…

    Hey, thanks for the linkage! I’ll return the favor tonight.

  10. pajama momma says:


    My only problem with writing that in is whether I can remember how to spell it when I go to vote.

  11. Abbadon says:

    Can’t be any harder than trying to spell Barak. And at least Cthulhu doesn’t sound like a belch…

  12. Prudie says:

    … or like coughing up a hairball.

  13. Guy S says:

    Cthulhu almost sounds like a “sneeze” if you say it fast with a hard accent on the “C” *grin*. As for Mormon bashing … sheesh, haven’t folks got better things to do (not talking about the jokes … that ain’t nothing more then teasing, not bashing)? And I applaud your being able to separate your reasons for no longer being a practicing Mormon, as being a personal choice and not wanting to tear down the whole institution because of them.

  14. Prudie says:

    Well, tearing down an institution does sound fun (WooHoo! bonfires!), but I just don’t have the stomach for tearing down this particular one.

  15. […] and here’s how I feel about Mormons, in case any clarification is needed. (The short: I heart Mormons so no Mormon bashing allowed on […]

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