Day Three: Diet Math

The Warrior Diet claims that no math is necessary to survive and succeed at it. And I suppose, in a way, it’s true. There is no counting calories or fat or carbs or whatever. However, I have discovered that as far as I am concerned, there is a bit of math involved. And it is math I hadn’t taken into account when I began this diet. So here’s the general equation I’ve discovered that is needed to understand my reaction to the Warrior Diet (and yes, you’ll need a bit of algebra):

[Prudie + Warrior Diet – 2(Sugar + Taco Bell) + Period2 + (Easter Candy(Everywhere!)) + Familial Stress + Job Search – Job Offers]! = 1

Where 1 = (Pissed off Prudie capable of bringing the Wrath of the Gods down upon the Whole of the Earth in such a way that makes the Biblical Plagues look like a Comfort, a Joy, and a well-earned Vacation)

You think the damage all over Georgia yesterday was from a tornado? Hah. I was just craving carbs during the undereating phase yesterday.

PS: The only thing keeping me from trashing Alabama and Tennessee for food today is pajamamomma‘s reccommendation about smoothies and juices. Sigh. Lovely.

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2 comments on “Day Three: Diet Math

  1. pajama momma says:

    OMG! Your math equation slayed me. That was hilarious.

    I started that time of the month Friday (I know, I know, TMI sorry) and the need for Cadbury eggs was so overwhelming.

    What I’m finding is if I wait till after dinner to eat it, I’m better off. I’m full, so one will satisfy me.

    If I eat one during the day all hell breaks loose.

    The other good thing (another TMI) is that after three months of eating this way and actually washing my face before bed, with skin care products even, I only got one pimple this month. WOOT! WOOT!

  2. Prudie says:

    TMI? No such thing. This is the internet. If you can’t broadcast your “natural cycle” to potentially millions of people on the internet, then where else can you do it? Frankly, I don’t want to live in a world where we can’t talk about periods and pimples on the net.

    Seriously? Less breakouts? Nice. I can’t wait. Despite the fact that it is 32 years old, my face insists that it is 15. Oy.

    OMG. Cadbury eggs. I had one last night. Nice.

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