I’ve heard rumors that the Republicans in Washington DC have decided to do something about all the President’s czars. I’m not quite convinced it is worth the effort and the bad PR our media overlords will heap upon them. But I am convinced that, at the very least, we need to set some sort of standard by which these czars can be hired and we should come up with a better name for these presidential advisors than “czars“.
But enough of the serious. I humbly suggest that the president go completely wild with the czar hiring. I mean, why stop at 30 or 50 czars? Obama was elected. Obama wants czars. I say Obama should have czars. I say go for broke with all that presidential power before the nasty brutes in the GOP ruin The Dear One’s fun. I even have a few suggestions.
Crazy-eyed Communist Czar: Cynthia McKinney
Zombie Czar: Jimmy Carter (Somebody told me he is still alive. I question that assessment. I think he’s been dead for a few years and nobody has noticed it yet.)
Race Czar: Jeff Gordon
Jiggy Czar: Will Smith
Jackass Czar: Kanye West
Cookie Czar: Amos (Let no child go without cookies!)
Groupie Czar: Maureen Dowd
Bizarre Czar: Michael Jackson (Hasn’t Obama resurrected MJ yet? Sheesh. I expected that last week.)
Green Czar: The Hulk
Bath Czar: Michael Moore (He quite clearly illustrates to children the consequences should they go without bathing.)
That 70′s Czar: Ashton Kutcher
Penguin Czar: Chilly Willy
Potato Czar: Pam
Red Shirt Czar: David O. Rogers
PhotoShop-fu Czar: S. Weasel
LATER: TRO found some Czars he can endorse. Or something.
A LITTLE LATER: Am I missing any Czars?
