Don’t Panic!

Recession is a natural part of the economy. Just think of it as an enema. Or a laxative. It’s natural. Oh, you’re going to have cramps for a while. And your mornings for the next few days are going to be busy. But you’ll feel all clean and rosy afterwards… as soon as you down a few gallons of water.

No? Then think of it in terms of the Circle of Life. Yeah, the song from The Lion King. There. Doesn’t the syrupy sweetness of faux philosophy and upright moral fortitude of Elton John make you feel better? Don’t you feel all warm and snuggly suddenly? It’s the circle of liiiiiiiiiife and it moves us all.

OK. </sarcasm> I feel better now. Sometimes, it’s better to let the snark flow move out (oh, dammit, enough pooping puns) be. It’s better to let the snark be. Sigh.

For people looking for jobs, it sucks. Oh, it’s not that no one is hiring. It’s just that no one is hiring in the field for which I’ve been trained (which is civil engineering generally and water resources/stormwater management specifically). And other fields in which I might be employed until my field gets its collective ass together in Georgia? Well, I’m overqualified. Even f’n Wal-Mart won’t have me.

You know, I’ve wanted to get out of engineering for a long time. Looks like this is the time to do it.

Like Totally

I spent some time watching stand up comedians last weekend. One thing stands out about most of the stand up acts of black and latino comedians: When imitating white women, they sound like Alicia Silverstone in Clueless.

Random Linkage

42  And the Goddess said unto Prudence, “Come thou and Blog, for thee I have seen righteous before Me in this blogosphere.”

43 And Prudence was sore afraid, because she knew she had naught in her draft queue and, indeed, her brains were as guacamole. For verily, there was no inspiration within her bosom for a new post; and Prudence searched, stricken, for a topic upon which to write.

44 And after this thing, the Lady came unto Prudence, saying, “Fear not, Prudence. I am thy shield, and thy exceeding inspiration. Look now toward heaven and tell the stars of thy fear, for I know that thou fearest, and thou shouldst not.”

45 And it came to pass that Prudence traveled to write upon Random Linkery once again, to fulfill that which her Goddess commanded:

46 And Prudence saw the cat, that which is in bondage and enjoys it, and thought it oddest amongst the beasts;

47 Then Prudence saw the whole world, and found it  beautiful;

48 And thus Prudence did sing, Boom dee adah;

49 And she found Abbadon, who is Jesus to Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Prudence did laugh and roll upon the floor, upon which her ass did fall;

50 And she saw that fat makes people fat, and yea she did cry;

51 And she did lust after the Kindle with exceeding power. Thus the Goddess reminded Prudence that she was poor, and without that which is necessary to purchase the beauteous Kindle. And Prudence wept with sorrow for it was truth;

52 And Prudence did ponder upon gas which was costly and dear. But she did also worry for fear of harming that which the Goddess created. Thus the Goddess said unto Prudence, “Let the soil bring forth abundantly the oil which my children need. But behold, I have given you dominion to care for that which I have created.”  

53 And lo, Prudence searched for fear of harming that which the Goddess created, and found that she could not search in certain places, nor could she search with certain people;

54 And Prudence was confused and did ponder more upon the Goddess’s words. And the Goddess did reply, “Drill already.”

55 And Prudence did take aim at her own blog with the bloody gun.  

56 And the Goddess saw that which Prudence did link and was pleased, for it was good.

Baby Steps

Reject Society has a great post up about Socialism. The comments are down over there, so I’m going to comment here on Collin Williams’ post. The quoted portions are from the post at Reject Society. You don’t need to read the post at Reject Society* to understand what I’m writing about below, but you should read it anyway. It’s a good one.

I am wondering what it will be like when us Generation X types start taking over.

We’ll never get that chance. The Baby Boomers vastly outnumber us. And Generation X is the first generation in human history that has a shorter average life expectancy than the previous generation. So by the time the Baby Boomers are almost all gone, most of Generation X will also be gone. It’ll be up to Generation Y to make changes because I don’t see the Baby Boomers giving up any of the government perks for which they’ve voted.

I suppose Generations X and Y could gang up on the Boomers. I don’t know if we’d have enough numbers even then. And I don’t see how that could be effective as long as the Boomers run Washington.

…[Speaking of] an outright push by both primary political parties for socialism. I am still researching exactly when and how that warp speed to disaster started.

I’ve done no serious research into it, but I have a gut feeling. I think the roots of it began with public schools. Liberals who were more than a little sympathetic to socialism gravitated towards teaching positions in government schools. This was exacerbated with the hippy counter culture, which also gravitated towards teaching positions. All of these socialist/liberal teachers have influenced American school children for at least two generations, perhaps more. Their influence is so great that issues which were once seemingly completely socialist and an anathema to American rights were soon seen as logical, proper steps to take for the greater good. In short, they desensitized the American public towards socialism to such an extent that a great many people don’t recognize socialism and the dangers of it when they are face to face with it.

But I think that the true push began with the end of the cold war. Communism was supposedly defeated. “Former” communists joined the environmental movement and soon found supporters within the elected liberal camp. By this time, the American public had been so desensitized to Socialism that even conservatives began espousing socialist principles.

we have all become slaves

Socialism… in a nutshell. 

LATER: Speaking of Socialism, that reminds me of a quote:

Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the Government’s purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evilminded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

 -Justice Louis D. Brandeis

Socialism is always seemingly for “the greater good” isn’t it?

*I don’t like the upside down US flag on the Reject Society blog. I understand why it’s a tempting symbol. I just have and like to show a little more respect for Old Glory than that.

It Couldn’t Happen Here

Oh really?

Many of the ideas behind US legislation originates in Europe and the UK. So you better believe that this scares me. If such random searches were to happen here, they would be, of course, for our own good.

Isn’t what they always say? Who cares if it hurts? Who cares if your rights are violated? Who cares if the presumption of innocence has been removed from procedure? Stand still, be quiet, and take it because it’s for your own good.

 

Tagged Again!

Conservative Scalawag tagged me. I guess it’s only fair since I got him recently (even though, ahem, he didn’t follow the 4th instruction).

Here are the rules to play:
1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven random and/or weird things about me:

1) I have named every car I’ve owned. They were/are:

a) Esmerelda Eugenia, a powder blue 1986 Plymouth Reliant (nicknamed Esmie);

b) Ermangarde Iphigenia, a white 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme (nicknamed Erma);

c)  Lolita Roja, a dark red 1999 Ford Contour;

d) Max, a gold (officially Desert Sand Mica) 2003 Toyota Matrix; and

e) Solomon, a red 2005 Kia Sportage (nicknamed Sol).

2) I am convinced that consumers of Axe body spray are doomed to be disappointed.

3) I do not understand why lip gloss is sold in so many yummy scents and flavors when lip gloss boxes caution users that the gloss itself is harmful when swallowed.

4) I have a hard time remembering what I’ve read. I read incessantly. So I spend large amounts of time reading books about which I’ll remember little. I still love to read. But if you want to talk to me about a book, you have to catch me right after I’ve read it.

5) I don’t like artificial cherry flavors. Real cherries, I love. (Black cherries… oh my.) But I see little resemblance between cherries made by Mother Nature and cherry flavoring produced by manufacturers.

6) My favorite food is Mexican. I love any type of Mexican food: Tex-Mex, real-Mexican, fake Mexican, Cuban Mexican, fusion Mexican, fast food Mexican, takeout Mexican, American Mexican, and Mexican Mexican. All of it, I love. And living in Georgia means that I have many, many Mexican restaurants from which to choose. Yum.

7) I love to fly. I’ve only flown twice (to Lynchburg, Virginia then back to Atlanta, Georgia - for work). I flew both times in one of those ancient Delta commuter planes that rattle and shake like they’re about to fall apart if the pilot so much as breathes wrong. I loved it and can’t wait to fly again.

8) BONUS! I’ll never buy another Toyota or Ford.

 

I should probably do one of those 100 things posts.

I’m not tagging anyone. If you want to do this, then leave a link in my comments.

Random Linkery

Were you to place your ear next to mine this morning, you would hear the sound of wind blowing through a high mountain pass. No exaggeration there. My brain has departed and left for parts unknown. Though I do suspect it may be lurking somewhere around my left big toe, I can’t work up the energy to will it back to its rightful place behind my eyes. So I’m brainless this morning, with very little to say about some links upon which I’d planned on writing extensively. Well, not so extensively for some…

Ceiling Cat Akbar!!! Hee. This is why I don’t have pets. ‘Cause I would totally do this for Halloween.

Coin Flippage: The Decline of Western Civilization is well upon us.

Admitting Mistakes: While it doesn’t refute his general point, it sure does address another one I’ve long suspected: we are being manipulated by The Powers That Be. And by TPTB, I mean Al Gore and the environmental movement. If they’re going to pretend to present a real, rational, fair documentary to the world, that documentary should not include clips from movies without expressly stating that the clip is from a movie. But no. They included a clip that was supposedly created by filming nature  when it was really created by a CGI shop in Hollywood.  Lovely honesty.

Environmentalists Can’t Do Math: Perhaps that’s why they are environmentalists and not engineers or accountants…

Biofuel = Corn_Biofuel + Petroleum  

(Global Food System) = Corn_Food +  $$$_{US Aid (w/help from others)}  

If Corn_Food = Major food that keeps people from starving in developing countries

If Corn =  Corn_Biofuel + Corn_Food   ≠  ∞

And if Corn_Biofuel > Corn_Food

Thus the global food system will suffer. People starve. Q.E.D’oh!

[I'd planned on writing more about present equations vs. past equations vs. future equations involving corn, but as I said earlier, my brain is hanging out with my metatarophalangeal* joint right now. And it's hard to think when there's that great of a distance between my head and my brain.]

McCain ’08: The least repulsive Democrat running for president. Hee.

Cube Prank: When I was working in a cube, I wished for something like this to happen to me. It’s a mini office with a flower box! How cute is that? [Via the Hostages. And yes, it's old.]

Some People: Just need the mean beat out of them. Seriously. Did you see the wretch smile for the camera? I say tie her down on the main drag of a retirement village and let the retirees run their golf carts over her.  Or let Arnold Palmer take a few shots with a nine iron. [Via Ace.]

*Did you know that the wordpress spell checker knows the word metatarophalangeal? Nice. Good job WP people!

One Trick Ponies

I’ve been thinking about sanity lately. Specifically, what is it? Something that is completely rational to one man can be horrifyingly irrational to another. So which standard do we use to define sanity? Which man gets to point his finger at the other and holler “up yours, nutty wanker“?

I just don’t know.

But even without a definition or a clear delineation of sanity, I’ve decided that I’m half crazy. This is, in my mind, a good compromise. I mean, the sane half of my mind knows right from wrong and good from evil and helpful from harmful. Also, I’m good at math.

But that other half, the insane half, talks to tomato plants, names inanimate objects, insists on screaming into the void unanswered, and blogs. Also, I’m good at math.

I haven’t come to any real conclusion about sanity. And I really can’t tell which man is crazy and which man is entitled to holler at the other for it. I do know that the people society calls crazy seem to be more fun than the people society calls sane.

Isn’t sanity just a one trick pony anyway? All you get is that one trick: rational thinking. But when you’re good and crazy, well, the sky’s the limit!
– The Tick

Perhaps sanity isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

LATER: I was thinking about this post. And I think this perhaps is a very Southern attitude. We aren’t ashamed of our crazy relatives own here. We don’t lock our crazies in the attic or in institutions down here. No sir. We dust off our crazies, prop them up, and let them entertain our guests in the parlour while we’re making cucumber sandwiches and mint juleps in the kitchen.

Do people in other regions direct such a fond eye toward their crazy relations?

Bride Kills Groom On Honeymoon After Reception Humiliation

Well now, this is just silly. (Here’s the link if the YouTube embed thingie doesn’t work again.)

LATER: In related news, this has got to be the gayest prison. Ever. It’s kind of cool, but that’s got to be the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen.

EVEN LATER: I think that they practice humiliation in this prison to keep the prisoners in line. Hee. Here’s an explanation (it’s kind of long).

The Men in Power Have Done It Yet Again

I had no idea that my love of Firefly  was yet another plot by the “Men in Power” who have no other desire than to subjugate my entire gender. Thank God for feminists. Otherwise, I would have attributed my love for Firefly  to the character-driven plot, interesting concept, lovely acting, and Adam Baldwin. Once again, feminists have saved me from myself! As LabRat said:

I didn’t know that liking that show was liking the sensation of a male fist in my face over and over again either.

Thus is the Power of Men, sister. They hit you, fool you into thinking you like it, then make you forget you ever felt it in the first place.

</sarcasm>

You know, if the “Men in Power” were as all-powerful and as anti-female as feminists believe, women would never have been given the ability to vote. Ever.

And don’t even get me started on Feminism…